Sneak Peek: Biden Nails State Of Union Address By Triumphantly Soiling Himself
Washington, D.C. – Daily Bystander reporters have seen an early copy of President Biden’s State of the Union address, which
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Biden
To Keep Up With Rate The Science Changes, School Textbooks Now Published By Etch A Sketch
St.Paul, MN – Given the dazzling speed in which “The Science” is apparently changing, schools across America have begun publishing
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Breaking News: This Didn’t Age Well
That’s it. That’s all we got.
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Biden Administration Missteps Prove Devastating To Local Small Business Owner
Dover, DE – Another story of big government crushing the dreams of small business owners. The results of the Biden
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Democrats Demand Arizona and Wisconsin 2020 Votes Be Decertified
New York, NY – Democrats across the country have taken to the streets to demand 2020 presidential election results from
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Taliban Pledges To Send Ukraine Weapons And Military Hardware
Kabul, Afghanistan – Hours after the Russian invasion of Ukraine, Taliban leadership within Afghanistan pledged to send Ukraine state-of-the-art military
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Approval Ratings Continue To Plummet For Andrew McCarthy And Jonathan Silverman
Southhampton, NY – Latest polling data reflect continued voter disapproval of the Presidential job being performed by both Andrew McCarthy
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State Department Somberly Announces Russia’s Invasion Of Ukraine
Washington, D.C. – State Department spokesperson Ned Price paused a blaring party playlist to somberly and officially confirm that Russia
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Depend’s Marketing VP Relieved “Hail To The Chief” Is Free Public Domain Song
Neenah, WI – After spending their entire marketing budget on a single Super Bowl commercial, Depend’s Marketing Vice President Todd
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Democrats Propose Using New YouTube Downvoting System For Upcoming 2022 Elections
Harrisburg, PA – Facing a widely predicted electoral bloodbath, Democratic lawmakers are proposing a new law overhauling the 2022 election
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