New England Upset After Tom Brady’s Retirement Announcement Only Thanks Bucky Dent

Foxboro, MA – Sports fans throughout the greater New England area were reportedly disappointed as legendary NFL quarterback Tom Brady announced his retirement after 22 years without ever mentioning their beloved Patriots franchise with whom he played 20 years. However, eventually eagle-eyed members of the Boston sports media also noted that of the 23 page announcement, 21 pages were dedicated to thanking Bucky Dent, the little Yankee shortstop from the 1970s who is reviled throughout Boston for hitting a key home run against the Red Sox in 1978. Brady’s long and heartfelt prose detailing how the plucky shortstop inspired each of the six Patriot Super Bowl victories and how he would call Dent to celebrate after every game rubbed many New Englanders the wrong way. “Bucky <expletive> Dent. This guy. Look I love Tommy, but reading all those pages about how he and Bucky take annual fishing trips together, I won’t lie, it got uncomfortable.” stated fan Vincent Dolan from Malden. Some Boston fans are so heartbroken, they now dread what next revelation may come from their hero’s social media accounts. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.” admitted Jessica Bowen. “What’s next? He’s a big Yankees fan? Calling Dunkin Donuts Back Bay sewer water? He voted for Trump?!!”