Following Election Wipeout, Democrats Calling For Personal Introspection, Cities Burned To Ground

Following the mid-terms election wipeout at every level of government, members of the Democrat party have humbly called for deep, personal introspection and for most American cities to be burned to the ground.

After such a thorough repudiation of their ideas, many progressive strategists are now seeking contemplative solitude, as soon as this downtown Starbucks is ablaze in restorative justice.

Liberal supporters are planning to spend the next couple days retreating to the simple things in life: family, the holidays, good food and leading a frenzied mob in looting a local Target store.

As the sting of this election fades, Democrats across the country are left to ponder why their message for America’s future never resonated as effectively as their current calls for encouraging criminals to attack police officers and spray paint buildings.

As newly-elected Republicans begin preparations to assume control of both Congress and state offices, liberal leaders are encouraging followers to look inward, hone their progressive message and donate money to help bail violent rioters out of jail so the night of terror can continue until the next elections.