Biden Mocks Russian Sham Annexation Election Attempt As “Amateurish”
Washington, DC – Responding to news that Russia plans to annex parts of Ukraine after questionable election victories that many
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Russia
Facebook Demands Everyone Write Hateful Things About Russians For Two Minutes Each Day
Menlo Park, CA – Facebook has announced a change to their policy forbidding users from expressing hateful or violent comments
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Tchaikovsky Music Banned After Refusing To Denounce Putin
Saint Petersburg, Russia – The classical music of Russian composer Pyotr Tchaikovsky has been banned throughout the western world after
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Americans Desperately Trying To ID “Star WNBA Player” Russians Claim To Have Detained
Washington, D.C. – Upon notification the Russian government has detained a “star WNBA basketball player”, the American government has frantically
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Ukraine Peace Talks Stall After State Department Demands Putin Make Out With Dude On Live TV
Moscow, Russia – Hope for a peaceful resolution in the deadly conflict between Ukraine and invading Russia were dashed when
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Xbox Begins Banning Anyone Caught Playing Tetris
Redmond, WA – The Xbox Live gaming service has begun banning anyone caught playing the Russian-made Tetris puzzle game, which
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Country With President Currently Waiting In His Underwear For Great Pumpkin Worried Putin Is Crazy
New polling data suggests Americans are increasingly concerned how President Biden will deal with a potentially insane Vladimir Putin, once
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Ukrainians Find Note From Biden Inside Empty Weapon Crates: “You Think Deer Have Kevlar Vests LOL?!”
Kyiv, Ukraine – Ukrainians in desperate need of assault weapons to prolong the fight against invading Russian troops were disappointed
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Model UN Students Horrified To Discover They’re The Actual United Nations
New York, NY – Students from across the globe participating in the long-standing “Model United Nations” learning program were horrified
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Experts Warn Ukrainian Conflict Threatening World Supply Of Virtue Signaling
New York, NY – With the Russian invasion of Ukraine gaining global attention, experts are warning the conflict is dangerously
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