Facebook Demands Everyone Write Hateful Things About Russians For Two Minutes Each Day

Menlo Park, CA – Facebook has announced a change to their policy forbidding users from expressing hateful or violent comments about specific nationalities or people. In fact, the social media company is now demanding (temporarily) that all users must spend two minutes each day to write hateful and violent things about Russians and their leader Vladimir Putin. Facebook representative Ned Parsons assured reporters: “No one is necessarily obliged to participate, but, on the contrary, that it’s impossible to avoid joining in. Within thirty seconds any pretense is always unnecessary. A hideous ecstasy of fear and vindictiveness, a desire to kill, to torture, to smash faces in with a sledge-hammer, seems to flow through the whole group of our Facebook users like an electric current, turning one even against one’s will into a grimacing, screaming lunatic.”