Fetterman Releases New Campaign Slogan: ‘Now’s Not The Time To Stop Electing Democrat Half-Wits’

Harrisburg, PA – Pennsylvania Senate candidate John Fetterman’s faltering campaign unveiled a new campaign slogan declaring: “Now Is Not The Time To Stop Electing Democrat Half-Wits”. Fetterman’s campaign is hoping the new focus will remind Keystone State voters that they’ve already voted for hundreds of mentally-challenged Democrats in the past, why stop now? History appears to side with the Lieutenant Governor’s bold assertion, as the long list of successful, borderline-retarded candidates from the Democratic party should make a vote for Fetterman the comfortable choice for many voters. “To be honest, it feels like there is a bias against John,” suggested Fetterman campaign manager Tyler Moxley. “Voters across the country have elected a clearly senile Joe Biden, a cerebral lightweight in Kamala Harris and complete mental midgets like Nancy Pelosi, AOC and Sheldon Whitehouse. Heck, we’ve occasionally even voted for actual dead people on the ballot. But now John comes along and suddenly we’re drawing the line about candidates who can speak and think clearly? That’s obviously unfair to John.” The candidate himself agrees he’s been treated unfairly by voters. Through a Speak & Spell, he recently told the media: “After stroke I no good think no more. But I still smart more than Patty Murray.”