Troy Aikman Grateful For Move To ESPN So ESPN Won’t Cover His Non-PC Comments

Bristol, CT – After a controversial comment on Monday Night Football, NFL analyst Troy Aikman is even more satisfied with his recent decision to move to ESPN, thus ensuring ESPN wouldn’t cover his non-politically correct statement. As of Wednesday morning, Aikman’s comment about how the NFL should “take the dresses off” was completely absent from ESPN reporting, even though it continued to dominate the halls of Twitter and woke sports commentary. “Can you imagine if I was still with Fox?” Aikman questioned rhetorically, “ESPN would have already had a 30 for 30 episode produced about that one off-hand remark, with a crying Jemele Hill declaring it equivalent to a modern-day lynching.” ESPN, long known for browbeating its audience with whatever liberal outrage is brewing that week, remained surprisingly silent about the divisive comment made by the personality they just gave $90 million dollars to join their network. While sports fans welcomed the temporary break of sermons from the Church of Bristol, they remain wearily convinced the network will return to its standard broadcast ratio of 90% social activism and 10% sports reporting in the very near future.