Arsonist Brags About Orphans He Saved From Fire He Started

Washington, D.C. – Local man Joe Biden is boasting about his incredible act of courage in saving orphans from a dangerous house fire he himself started late last night. Six orphans were rescued from the burning Main Street adoption home, which was set ablaze with accelerants used by the bragging arsonist. “The people who lived here before didn’t have the courage to save these young children from the blaze I myself created.” declared Biden to reporters. Friends of Biden have begun calling it the “Biden Boom”, as the number of orphans saved has dramatically risen since he began lighting buildings on fire. Some witnesses however suggest that Biden actively tried to keep the children in the engulfed structures and those who survived were only those able to escape past his attempts. Regardless, Biden continues to stress the heroic nature of his act with context being meaningless when contrasted to the statement: “He saved children.” At this hour, fire prevention authorities remain on high alert as Biden promises to save many more children in the next three years.