Scientists Baffled By ‘Sleep Curtain’ Surrounding China That Neutralizes All Wokeness

Cambridge, MA – Scientists across the globe remain baffled by the discovery of a thick wall they’ve nicknamed “The Sleep Curtain” surrounding the entire country of China, which effectively dampers the wokeness of any person venturing near it. Researchers are investigating if this unseen-to-human-eye shield is made of some type of advanced vaporized melatonin or other sleep agents, but regardless the impact uniformly remain the same: Incredibly woke individuals quickly succumb to sleep after passing through the mysterious barrier. Courageous American heroes like Los Angeles Lakers star LeBron James or Warriors’ coach Steve Kerr are typically among the first to bravely point out any discretion committed by their own country, no matter how minor. However, scientists from MIT have demonstrated how tired and low energy they become as the conversation shifts to China. “Reviewing hours of tapes of these types of enlightened individuals, you can visually see the impact of the sleep curtain on their faces.” reported senior MIT researcher Alan Harvey. “Without the curtain: the face is full of vigor and righteous energy, with the curtain: tired and unwilling to comment. It’s like watching two completely different faces, in fact we wanted to call the observed phenomenon: ‘two-faced’ but apparently that has a different connotation. Why is this mysterious shield targeting our bravest and most outspoken?” The curtain has also mysteriously impacted major corporations like Apple, Nike, Microsoft and Disney. The latter is widely known for overloading their products with lecturing, woke material designed to harass half of their Western audience. But once this content passes through the Chinese sleep curtain, all woke material is no longer present. “Our working theory is that the Disney producers, directors and actors are so tired after encountering the barrier, in their exhausted state they literally forget to insert all that self-righteous messaging for the Chinese market.” stated Harvey. “I mean, what else could be the explanation?”