DC Malls Filled With FBI Agents Doing Last Minute January 6th Shopping For Partners
Washington, D.C. – Department stores across the greater DC metro area are filled with errant FBI agents who have put off January 6th shopping for their partners until the last possible moment. With the FBI’s biggest holiday right around the corner, bashful agents are surveying isles late into the night, trying to find the perfect gift for that special agent in their lives. “It’s a busy time, you set yourself reminders, but every year I still find myself walking around Macy’s the night before, wondering what size khaki he wears.” confessed Special Agent John Johnson. Experts stress the need to get shopping done early so you’re not rushing around looking for that perfect pair of Dockers or Ray-Bans and somehow miss the true meaning of this special time of the year. Or as Agent Johnson summarized: “Don’t let the commercialization ruin our agency’s most joyous event. And remember, if you can’t find the spirit of insurrection on Facebook or at the rallies….maybe you should look in your own heart and create it yourself.”
