Washington DC – Reports from inside the White House reveal exasperated Press Secretary Jen Psaki has ordered the oscillating fan located inside the Oval Office to be removed before it’s literally hit. Sources within the administration highlight Psaki’s growing disillusionment in cleaning up messes created by the President, especially since returning from his well-publicized meeting with the Pope a month ago.
“Jen got into this business because she wanted to force her ideology on other people,” one administration source confided, “not to go room to room organizing clean-up efforts for the accident-prone President.” Psaki’s has been singularly focused on the Honeywell Comfort Control fan that resides in the Oval Office, the potential aftermath of it being literally hit and the subsequent mess she would be expected to resolve.
Anonymous sources within the White House support Psaki’s proactive move, even if the President himself has assured her the fan was in no clear and present danger. “Trust me, I understand her unwillingness to take the chance of that fan getting hit, can you even imagine the mess that would create?” pondered the anonymous source. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Joe, he’s the last to know when it’s time to go. It’s been that way since the start of our marriage.”