Alex Kurtzman Struggling To Find Way To Ruin Story About William Shatner Going To Space

Famed Hollywood writer Alex Kurtzman continues to struggle to ruin the heartwarming story of 90-year-old William Shatner’s recent trip to space.  Kurtzman, already with a prolific history of wrecking other stories about Shatner going to space, has so far been stymied with this new attempt.  “I probably just took it for granted that I could grab any concept about Shatner among the stars and horribly disfigure it for not only him, but his fans around the world. Perhaps I’ve flown too close to the sun’s lens flare.” Kurtzman admitted.

Part of the challenge has been the limitations of the actual trip serving as the inspiration.  Shatner’s voyage consisted of only a small craft manned by four people and lasted just 10 minutes.  Still, none of that has prevented Kurtzman from conceptualizing a 26-episode series of the abbreviated expedition.  Per his initial drafts, he envisions adding more crew so that the women on the ship can have someone to save after Shatner’s ego destroys the ship’s navigational systems.

“When I ruined the creative centerpiece of Shatner’s life, it took me synthesizing bile from years of source material.  But if I can take a simple 10 minutes and not only weaponize it against Shatner’s remaining years and fans, but also demoralize NASA supporters and anyone else even remotely interested in space exploration, that’s an exponential return on investment.  One might weakly say that is the power of math.”