Kenosha Activists Hold Vigil For Execution Of 17-Year Old Black Man They Invented

Kenosha, WI – Activists gathered for a solemn protest against the planned execution of the 17-year old black man they collectively invented.  As frequently repeated on cable news and social media: an alternate universe black Kyle Rittenhouse, on trial for killing multiple violent protesters, would not have received the same treatment as real-world white Rittenhouse.  Those fears of bigotry were confirmed, when the imaginary young black man was convicted of first degree murder and sentenced to death by an overwhelmingly white jury.  Social media was outraged when the convicted teenager was later denied all avenues of appeal and hastily processed for execution after a single week, per MSNBC Joy Reid’s retelling of the fictional story.

The situation outside the prison remains tense as protesters argue with confused officials who have no record of the fabricated prisoner, also reminding the crowd Wisconsin hasn’t supported the death penalty since 1853.  Celebrity civil rights activist Shaun King, further incited the crowd by defiantly predicting: “Tonight the racist state of Wisconsin will have the blood of an innocent, pretend black man on their hands.”  

One white protester, holding a sign proclaiming “Hypothetical Black Lives Matter” told gathered reporters through tears: “Black Kyle Rittenhouse doesn’t deserve to die simply for the crime of being black in America.  This is all so conceptually sad….”.  As for now, activists are still petitioning Wisconsin Governor Tony Evers will stay the fantasy execution in time. Meanwhile, celebrities have instructed personal assistants to prep Twitter statements expressing make-believe outrage over the eventual make-believe execution.