Rochester, NY – After years of volatile arguments with gun enthusiasts and other supporters of the Constitution, gun control activists have potentially discovered a winning argument. As liberal groups demonstrate to stubborn gun advocates what the right to bear arms looks like when leftists ineptly bear arms, the gap between the two sides has potentially closed.
“The solution always existed within us.” reveals anti-gun activist Shannon Watts. “School shootings, accidents or suicides didn’t persuade gun owners to change their ideas. But one argument clearly resonated: If you don’t let clueless, cowardly authoritarians like us ban guns; then clueless, cowardly authoritarians are going to be able to buy guns.”
Upon detecting this crack in the right’s armor, left-wing groups have incessantly pushed this point. A key moment came during the sensational Kyle Rittenhouse trial, when Lead Prosecutor Thomas Binger pointed a rifle he was “pretty sure” wasn’t loaded and dry-fired at a horrified jury box. “I saw that and realized: Yikes, we can’t let just anyone purchase a gun.” admitted Rusty Barnes, a popular gun-right advocate who runs the blog: “My Cold Dead Hands”.
That incredible moment was just the capstone to months of convincing examples where the 2nd amendment may no longer be compatible with a society that also allows leftists the freedom to procure things. From Alec Baldwin killing a crew member on set with an unchecked handgun, to unarmed Capitol protester Ashli Babbit being murdered by an incompetent mall cop who had previously left his service weapon in a public restroom. All of these examples echoed the violent 2020 riots, where thousands of community college theater drop-outs took to the streets with weapons they had only previously used on an Xbox. “I think it’s time we conservatives have a hard conversation about guns. There are certainly people walking around right now, most likely working as baristas, that have no business with access to a firearm.” confessed Barnes.
Anti-gun groups have begun producing advertisements to reflect this new opportunity. The most effective one to date has been a somber, black and white montage of various Hollywood celebrities declaring themselves fed-up with the status-quo and announcing their intentions to horrifyingly purchase their own guns.