“Updated for Modern Audience”, New Splinter Cell To Include 54 Different Vision Modes

Toronto, Canada – As first noted on Bounding Into Comics, Ubisoft plans to update the anticipated return of the Splinter Cell franchise for “modern audiences”, specifically by increasing the number of in-game vision mode options from the well-known binary to 54. The legendary stealth game centered much of its gameplay around the ability of protagonist Sam Fisher to leverage his iconic “trifocal” goggles’ night and thermal vision for detecting and avoiding enemy personnel. “We then pushed it to three different modes in Chaos Theory,” explains Ubisoft lead designer Jacques Leaves, “then finally we added a fourth vision mode in Conviction that allowed players to see enemies through walls to really challenge those stealth players who hate things like stealth and challenge. But now in 2022, modern audiences demand 50+ vision modes representing all the different ways players might want to see their world and express themselves.”

While long time fans are complaining that outfitting Fisher with that many modes is absurd, developers are quick to point out that they’ve programmed all NPCs to pretend they don’t see a walking Christmas tree slowly moving towards them and act like it’s completely normal. Ubisoft also hopes to allow players to upload their own unique vision modes so that all players can be forced to download and play each addition if they want to win the game. Leaves informs us: “We’ve got a new type of night vision, but it’s for the daytime. Then we have one mode that turns the screen completely black and mutes the audio, pretty much simulating like you’re not even playing the game which we think will be a huge hit for all the “fans” who would complain that we didn’t have more than two vision choices. Finally, there is a special mode called “2K4″, which will show what the title would have looked like if released in 2004, back when Ubisoft made actual good games.”