Women Scrambling To Get Pregnant So They Can Abort Child Before Supreme Court Ruling

Baltimore, MD – Progressive women across the country are desperately trying to get pregnant so they can get an abortion before the Supreme Court issues an expected, new ruling in the upcoming months. The frantic effort to procreate and then kill that creation comes as a leaked draft of a Supreme Court decision suggests the court will soon rule the Constitution does not in fact grant mothers the freedom to murder their children. Katie Hobbes of Rockport has been frantically bouncing around local bars and clubs, looking for any partner in her quest to terminate her future pregnancy before it’s ruled illegal. “The male patriarchy thinks they may have won, but I’ve done the math and should be able to conceive and also squeeze one last abortion in before they ban it, so the joke’s on them. Well, them and my dead child.”