Google Offers To Pay Travel Expenses For Stadia To Procure Abortion

Mountain View, CA – Google today announced they will pay associated travel expenses for their gaming cloud service Stadia to procure an abortion. The decision to terminate the poorly received and underdeveloped gaming service was a personal one that Google fully supports. “This weakly conceived idea shouldn’t ruin the rest of Google’s life. We were young, we thought we could make a cloud gaming experience with no exclusive titles and poor network lag on fast paced games that dominate the industry. Our bottom line, our choice.” Google reiterated its full financial support for ending unwanted product lines, despite criticism from pro-cloud employees that this is becoming a lifestyle choice for the conglomerate, referencing the previous abortion of Google Glass. Google spokesperson Manchi Punchi defended the companies decision: “At Google, we will always stand on the side of choosing to terminate a newborn gaming service. This isn’t even a console we’re talking about here, but just a clump of crappy games you already played on better consoles, linked together on a hastily thrown together UI.”