Founding Fathers Regret 1st Amendment Now That Liberals Are Being Mocked

Philadelphia, PA – Original members of the group that helped draft and codify the Bill of Rights regret their inclusion of the “1st Amendment”, as it’s now being used to mock liberals. The amendment guaranteeing every American the freedom of speech was originally only intended for voicing support of the government, writing books that the majority already agree with and burning down entire cities in the name of protest. However, bad faith actors on Twitter and other social media platforms have begun to use this sacred right to mock leftist opinions, usually by simply republishing said leftist opinions. In the spirit of the founding fathers, Twitter has begun suspending accounts that abuse the first amendment for the cheap thrill of highlighting overwhelming hypocrisy among progressives. “When we included that amendment, it was meant to focus on important things like congratulating a co-worker for transitioning into a dude or something.” admitted founder Silas Deane. “Not these snarky attempts to show our political class is a bunch of bumbling, inconsistent morons. This is why we can’t have nice things.”