NFL Now Requiring Quarterbacks To Arrive At Stadium With Signed Permission Slip From Mom

New York, NY – The National Football League, responding to a rash of very public player concussions, is now requiring quarterbacks to arrive at the stadium with a signed permission slip from their moms to participate in tackle football. The league had hoped to delay this decision until the new “flag football” Pro Bowl game had been played, to better determine which solution would more thoroughly ruin the sport. The first week with the new parental requirements was not without controversy, as reports indicated a clearly nervous New England QB Mac Jones presented a permission slip signed by someone with identical handwriting to coach Bill Belichick. In addition, New York Jets QB Zach Wilson was ruled ineligible as his form was signed, but apparently by someone else’s mother. Finally, Ravens QB Lamar Jackson’s permission form came with an additional note from his mom asking the referee to please check if he needs to go ‘peepee’ during the 2nd quarter, because “sometimes he gets too embarrassed to say”.