Democrats Unsure If Boycott Means They Should Keep Or Stop Shoplifting From Walgreens

San Francisco, CA – With the launch of a national #BoycottWalgreens movement, Democrats are confused if they should continue shoplifting from the store or cease in a sign of solidarity with the boycott. The boycott arose as activists were stunned to discover Walgreen executives have donated money to politicians they don’t agree with, including those opposed to the robbing and looting of their stores. Now two sacred elements have collided within liberal groupthink; pitting their insatiable desire to punish people who think differently than them against the location from which they routinely steal their daily necessities of life. Progressive think tanks are debating whether continuing to brazenly steal from the drug stores during a boycott is effective as they were already doing that every day before the boycott. But others convincingly argue that avoiding Walgreens and temporarily following the law only rewards the company. “Traditional boycotts were so much simpler when we just could threaten to not buy things.” admits Jasyn McKiney (they/them) of the Progressive Intellectual Soros Society. “When you haven’t exactly been ‘buying’ things from there for the last two years, the boycott loses a little of its teeth.” Suggestions to simply burn the stores down as part of their peaceful boycott have only been met with tepid enthusiasm, reportedly not due to the lawlessness of the act, but because it’s: “soooooo 2020 guys.”